Losing One's Home--Where We All Come From

My Mother was planning to visit California for Easter. She was hashing out the complexities with my sister and I all last week. First, she would be in Portland for a business conference. Then, she would fly into San Jose to spend a week with me. Then, she and I would drive down to LA together to spend Easter at my Sister's home. Afterward, she would fly home to South Carolina.

With a dog-sitter in place, and United Airlines policies sussed out at last, it seemed that her visit was a go. But Wednesday, an email appeared unceremoniously in my inbox. Mom was telling my sister and I that she had finally gotten in to see her gynecologist, and it was decided that she needed a hysterectomy next month. Her California visit was canceled.

The news of her upcoming surgery was a shock to me and sent me straight into a spiral of fear and worry. Why did she need a hysterectomy? Couldn't something be done to stop this? Would she be okay? Who would care for her afterward? What was going on? My heart raced as I contemplated the possibility of the unspeakable "C" word...cancer.

I also had read recently about the very high percentage rate of post-menopausal women in America who had had their uterus removed. The source questioned whether the procedure was always necessary or just an outdated safe-bet for doctors. All these things ran through my mind. I kept returning to the vision of my mother, lying in a hospital bed, just waking up from the anesthesia after her emergency appendectomy and hernia surgery five years ago. I saw how pale and thin she looked, but she also had a fine, luminous beauty about her. I acutely felt the tenuous nature of our physical existence, and both our eyes filled with tears of relief and gratitude as I held her hand.

Another thought kept coming into my mind though, it seems selfish and almost too crass to repeat. I thought, "How can these people take away my home?" Not just my first home, but the place where I was actually created, and my sister as well. How can something so life-giving and sacred simply be removed, and cast aside? And what then? Where does it go? I shuddered to think.

In my studies of the energetic body and energy healing, I came to firmly believe that every part of your body not only has a physical purpose, but a conscious and energetic purpose and place. I do not believe that we can open our bodies and remove something without losing more than just cells and tissue. So, I worried for my mother's healing process, not just in her physical body but the many other layers involved.

Thankfully, I was able to speak to my Mother on the phone that evening. She told me that she had a prolapsed uterus. This condition occurs when the muscles, tissue, and ligaments that hold the uterus in place fail, and the uterus begins to collapse. I had never heard of such a thing, and it did not seem right or fair that it was possible. It sounded like another monster emerging from the hidden vaults of female being, along with all the scary child-birth stories girls begin to hear in their 20s and 30s. I wished for any way to save her from the physical discomfort and emotional strain she was facing. But I was comforted knowing that her trusted gynecologist and another specialist will be performing the surgery.

The following day my sister sent mom and I this article from Dr. Oz. I scanned his words in vain for any alternative process for a prolapsed uterus. It looks like I won't be able to save my home. But this experience has given me a renewed commitment to my own female health and body awareness. And I hope to be there for my Mom during this difficult aspect of womanhood to assist in both physical and energetic healing.